Obligatory New Years Post
Jan. 1st, 2009 06:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serindrana... That I kind of want to do. :)
So, a year in review... this is always hard, given my long-term memory can be a bit spotty. But in the past year, I've visited Seattle again, gone to NYC, and am now in Chicago - in the way of traveling. But I've also left Baltimore for Gambier, OH and little old Kenyon college, and I couldn't be happier. The first half of the year borded on the terrible - I was an emotional wreck half the time, amazingly lonely and terribly upset at family life. I was clashing with just about everybody, and it didn't help that in the middle of the summer, my best friend moved away, leaving me rather alone. And in a way, it didn't help that in February (or was it very early March?) I got my acceptance letter from Kenyon. Because, for the next six or so months, I was sitting, waiting, needing to get out of the house and go to Kenyon.
And thankfully, when I got there, it was everything I'd ever hoped it could be.
My expected friendships (Facebook and whatnot) didn't always pan out, but that didn't matter. The friends I do have are wonderful in so many ways that the people I knew in high school (barring Weishan) didn't approach. Living with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
peridium is something I miss so much, and it's only been two weeks since I had to leave her for the winter. There's something that's just so warm and home about going to sleep every night with her light still on - it's weird, but I'm so used to it that it's comforting. :) Despite the fact that we're crammed into are little weirdly shaped room and are still figuring out day-time balances of who's in the room and when.
I met David, too, who has helped me in so many ways and stood by me through so many things - from missing my first Psych class by accident to having huge crises of self and love and so many other things. With his help and with the help of everybody in my new home, I've become far less (irrationally) emotional and just a bit more trusting of myself. We've had a few tiny rough spots, but all of them have served to open up dialogues of things we keep wanting to talk about but never think to. It's been four months now, and I can safely say that I love him with all the room in my heart I have to give.
I met Tabitha - or rather, Dr. Payne - who not only made me remember (and accept) how much I love psychology and how naturally it comes to me, but also became a great friend (and boss). She's kept me working in a way that goes beyond obligation and classes, and has made me so excited about the future. I can't wait to get back to campus and get back to work in her lab. SAM MATHER I MISS YOU and your silly lack of bathrooms on the first floor.
With the help and support of David andperidium (though from her it was usually "I HATE YOU DIE IN A FIRE" :) ), I finished the first NaNo I've been proud of in a few years, draft name whitegravity. And with their help, I was brave enough to ask a few of my professors who had expressed interest in it while it was in progress if they would look at it. I finished in it 19 days and, for the first time, began playing in earnest with subverting tropes and toying with realism applied to more fantasy situations where realism tends to mean an unsatisfactory ending - and found a way to make it satisfactory.
And now, I'm sitting in my great aunt's apartment in Chicago, admiring the lights out there and thinking that maybe, just maybe, this feels like where I want to end up. After wonderful conversation with family friends last night, I asked my great aunt if we could go to the University of Chicago campus and walk around. And since last night, up through when I looked up at the buildings, wrapped in ivy, I've been feeling the same thing I felt about Kenyon when I visited it back when I was 15 - I want to be here. It might change - maybe probably will - by the time it matters, but for now, it feels like home-to-be.
And I'm grateful.
So, a year in review... this is always hard, given my long-term memory can be a bit spotty. But in the past year, I've visited Seattle again, gone to NYC, and am now in Chicago - in the way of traveling. But I've also left Baltimore for Gambier, OH and little old Kenyon college, and I couldn't be happier. The first half of the year borded on the terrible - I was an emotional wreck half the time, amazingly lonely and terribly upset at family life. I was clashing with just about everybody, and it didn't help that in the middle of the summer, my best friend moved away, leaving me rather alone. And in a way, it didn't help that in February (or was it very early March?) I got my acceptance letter from Kenyon. Because, for the next six or so months, I was sitting, waiting, needing to get out of the house and go to Kenyon.
And thankfully, when I got there, it was everything I'd ever hoped it could be.
My expected friendships (Facebook and whatnot) didn't always pan out, but that didn't matter. The friends I do have are wonderful in so many ways that the people I knew in high school (barring Weishan) didn't approach. Living with
peridium is something I miss so much, and it's only been two weeks since I had to leave her for the winter. There's something that's just so warm and home about going to sleep every night with her light still on - it's weird, but I'm so used to it that it's comforting. :) Despite the fact that we're crammed into are little weirdly shaped room and are still figuring out day-time balances of who's in the room and when.I met David, too, who has helped me in so many ways and stood by me through so many things - from missing my first Psych class by accident to having huge crises of self and love and so many other things. With his help and with the help of everybody in my new home, I've become far less (irrationally) emotional and just a bit more trusting of myself. We've had a few tiny rough spots, but all of them have served to open up dialogues of things we keep wanting to talk about but never think to. It's been four months now, and I can safely say that I love him with all the room in my heart I have to give.
I met Tabitha - or rather, Dr. Payne - who not only made me remember (and accept) how much I love psychology and how naturally it comes to me, but also became a great friend (and boss). She's kept me working in a way that goes beyond obligation and classes, and has made me so excited about the future. I can't wait to get back to campus and get back to work in her lab. SAM MATHER I MISS YOU and your silly lack of bathrooms on the first floor.
With the help and support of David and
peridium (though from her it was usually "I HATE YOU DIE IN A FIRE" :) ), I finished the first NaNo I've been proud of in a few years, draft name whitegravity. And with their help, I was brave enough to ask a few of my professors who had expressed interest in it while it was in progress if they would look at it. I finished in it 19 days and, for the first time, began playing in earnest with subverting tropes and toying with realism applied to more fantasy situations where realism tends to mean an unsatisfactory ending - and found a way to make it satisfactory.And now, I'm sitting in my great aunt's apartment in Chicago, admiring the lights out there and thinking that maybe, just maybe, this feels like where I want to end up. After wonderful conversation with family friends last night, I asked my great aunt if we could go to the University of Chicago campus and walk around. And since last night, up through when I looked up at the buildings, wrapped in ivy, I've been feeling the same thing I felt about Kenyon when I visited it back when I was 15 - I want to be here. It might change - maybe probably will - by the time it matters, but for now, it feels like home-to-be.
And I'm grateful.
